


Depression Never Keeps Its Promises

by phanburnhamizzard



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Depression, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Phan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 08:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18656524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phanburnhamizzard/pseuds/phanburnhamizzard
Summary: After an argument, Dan builds up the strength to knock on Phil's door.  This is a short drabble about the power of friendship over depression.





	Depression Never Keeps Its Promises

It wasn’t too long before he heard a soft knock at the door.

“What?” he snapped, still wrapped up in rage and resentment.

“I’m sorry,” came the gentle reply.

 

Phil got up from his bed and crossed to the door, but did not open it.

“Just saying that doesn’t fix everything, Dan. Not this time. Not again.”

 

“I know,” Dan said, “but it’s true. And it’s the only thing I know to say.”

 

Phil let the door open and walked back towards his bed, his back to Dan. 

Dan took a deep breath and stepped into Phil’s room.

 

They let the silence pass between them for several minutes, then Dan began, “I was completely out of line. I don’t think you are uncaring, in fact, I know that you are not. I was just,” he stammered, “I was so frustrated and I thought you couldn’t possibly understand what I was feeling–”

Phil whipped around to face Dan and demanded, “How can I know how you are feeling if you don’t tell me?!”

Dan closed his eyes. 

“I’ve sat through dozens of therapy sessions with you and you’re full of words then. Why can’t you talk to me when it’s just us?” Phil asked, softening his voice.

“I don’t know. It’s just that I’m afraid, I think. I guess. Okay? I just don’t know how to say things without going off on a long tangent that loses your interest.”

Phil tilted his head. “Loses my interest?”

“I mean, it seems like you get tired of hearing me say the same thing over and over.”

“Okay, well, I do,” Phil admitted. “But it’s not because I lose interest, it’s because you keep skirting the truth.”

“I’m scared,” Dan admitted, opening his eyes.

Phil let out a slow breath and swallowed hard. Then he put one hand on Dan’s round shoulder and the other under his chin, gently lifting it so that Dan’s gaze met his. 

“Bear, you don’t have to be afraid with me. Not ever. Just don’t shut me out. That’s what makes me mad. When you are hurting and you just talk in circles and end up insulting me instead of telling me what is really wrong.”

“But sometimes,” Dan confessed as large hot tears began to stream down his reddening cheeks, “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Then just say that,” Phil said, gently. “Just tell me you don’t know what’s wrong and let me in. Stop closing me out. Please.”

“I don’t want you to get tired of me,” Dan said, speaking quickly, “I don’t want you to see the dark parts of me and be afraid. I don’t want you to leave me.”

Phil pulled Dan into an embrace and Dan began to sob. They rocked slowly side to side and Phil rubbed the curves of Dan’s heaving back as he whispered, “It’s alright, Dan. I’ll never leave you. It’s alright. You’re safe with me.”

“But,” Dan sniffed when he caught his breath, “I’m not fixable! I’m broken!”

Phil pulled back and pressed his forehead against Dan’s, their eyes meeting. 

“You are not broken. I love you. I always will.”

Dan managed a small smile.

“And if you need me to sit with you in silence while you cry, I’ll do it. If you want to talk it out until the sun rises, we will. If you need me to run you a bath and make dinner, I’ll do that, too. But I won’t be shut out. Not from you. Not ever again.”

“I love you,” Dan whispered. 

Phil kissed away a tear from Dan’s hot cheek, then whispered into his ear, “I love you too, Bear.”

And they didn’t live happily ever after because depression doesn’t work like that. But they worked together and they talked it out, and they had good times and bad moments, but they never shut each other out again. 

Because friends are always there for each other. 

And depression never keeps its promises.


End file.
